we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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