when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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