I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
