hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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