If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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