who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
