He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
