We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
