I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
