Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
