I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
