I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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