She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
