no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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