you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
