When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
