You really coming over, don't trick.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
