haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
we should paint friendship bongs
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
