piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
