I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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