Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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