Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
