Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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