The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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