Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
