mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
