Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
