That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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