Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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