bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
