That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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