Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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