no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
