I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
