Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
we should paint friendship bongs
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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