Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
