I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
