Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
