Sry I called you an 8
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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