Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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