I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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