im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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