She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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