i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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