Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
