I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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