This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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