So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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