Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
