what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
