Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
