ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
