The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
