I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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